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the biggest trunk n the world - fic

OK so the 65 doesn't have the biggest trunk in the world.  For that you need an earlyer or later model, but I love the er 'sleak design' of the 65 - a little bit of showing what was to come with my FAV muscle car the Nova (the giant killer) my homage to the permere car of horror.  In case you are a supernatural fan - she has a bigger block than the Mettalcar (but a smaller trunk).  The title comes from a song by Black 47 called Brighty

except in the song he has "the biggest bed in the world"  Comments would be awsome.  I love comments.  And I will love you forever if you make them.

I had thought it would be a few years before I would find myself at Rufus’ kitting myself out.  A few more years of Journeyman status before having to become a Master myself, at least I will take a few years before I take on an Apprentice myself.  I pull into the muffler shop in my Father’s old Taurus wagon and shut it off.  I miss Father but I wasn’t raised to be sentimental, I turn off the Taurus and get out of the car.  Rufus comes out of the office.  If he was a man he would be small.  If he was a man.  Rufus is a redcap, and I’ve always wondered what he looks like to someone who doesn’t have The Sight.  I see him as he is, about four feet tall, pointy little teeth and what used to be a red bandana.  It’s a light mud brown now, he hasn’t been on a battlefield in many a year.  No battlefields, no fresh blood to keep his hat bright red.  Redcaps may be unpleasant but they aren’t generally evil, and Rufus isn’t even unpleasant. 

       

     “Sorry to hear about your Papa,” he says taking my hand and smiling up at me, “he was a good man.”

        

    “Yeah.”

        

    “So was it a Demon?”

        

    “No, it was a stroke,” My father Michael Mallus, the great demon hunter was felled by a stroke.  It’s not the exit that either of us had expected, he should have died fighting some monster or exorcizing some young person, not in a hospital.

         

   “Anyway, I got this letter from him, telling me to get a car ready for you.  You Mallus’ are all the same, nothing ever left to chance.” 

      

      “No I suppose not,” We couldn’t leave anything to chance.  The last time things got left to chance there were Witch Hunts.  Hell like witches would start plague or famine; plague and famine that would most likely kill them as well.  Anyway like everything there are good and bad witches, good and bad fairies, even good and bad demons.  My family has always been careful about good and evil; kill evil, move good to somewhere they won’t be bothered by superstitious bastards.  

         

   “I got this ready for you,” he gestures to a large car.  It’s yellow, “What does it say to you?”

          

  “It says ‘I need a back seat I can sleep on’?”

         

   “It’s a 1965 Impala SS.  Your Papa always said you like to drive fast and this has the 409 V8, they started phasing it out that year.  It’s fast and it has enough space for – well for whatever you need.”

         

   “It’s yellow,” I point out.

         

   “Well I can change that, but I wanted something special for you, my dear.  If you don’t like it I can get something else for you.  These Impalas have become even more popular recently.  It used to be all Vampires that were in the market for them, but recently your kind has caught on to them.  It’s that TV show’s fault.”

        

    “What are you talking about?” I have a feeling I know what he’s referring to but I’m not going to let on.

         

   “You know, that show with the two yummy boys in it,” I have know idea if Rufus means the boys are attractive or if they would taste good, “You know the one where they run around sort of doing what you do?  All your type watch it, makes you misty or something.  Wishing you had a little brother or sister to drag around with you, less of a lonely life that way?” 

        

    “Piss off Rufus.”

         

   “You never wanted a little sister to take care of?”

        

    “I said piss off,” of course I wanted a little brother.  Who didn’t? “Tell me more about the car.”

        

    “Well it’s only had the one owner, a Vampire, but he didn’t drive it much.”

        

    “Just to church on Sunday?”  I should have guessed it belonged ot a Vampire, on TV they almost always belong to Vampires.  It’s the preferred muscle car for the Vampire.

       

     “Well I donno if he went to church.  But he did have a cryptey thing in the trunk.”

        

    “It’s not still there is it?” I ask shocked.

     

       “Naw, I got rid of the crypt.  Turned it into a – well you could use it as a cell, or maybe just secure storage,” he opens the trunk and then flips open a false bottom.  I have to admit it’s one hell of a trunk, “And I changed the upholstery in the back seat.  It was all singed from – well you’ve seen a Vampire die.”

        

    “Yeah,” I have any number of times.

        

    “You know it’s a done deal right? It’s what he wanted for you.”  

        

    “It’s still yellow.”

         

   “Well it could be worse, the pilot for John Doe had a Purple one.”

          

  “Purple would be worse,” I agree, groaning inwardly, “Can you at least hook up a CD player for me? I can’t stand adds on the radio.”

          

  “Already done.  You leaving the old man’s car here?”

          

  “Yeah, just let me get my stuff out of it,” I head back to the Taurus and grab my stuff along with some things of my fathers.  And head back to my new car.  I slip behind the wheel and pull out.  I pull out of Rufus’s lot my own Master. 

          

  I am Elizabeth Mallus, new owner of a lemon yellow Impala.  Evil beware. 

 

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Comments

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
trystan830
Feb. 14th, 2006 03:19 pm (UTC)
despite the fact that Nick's car was a light blue 62 Cadilliac, this was a pretty cool fic. :)

and this: “You know, that show with the two yummy boys in it,” I have know idea if Rufus means the boys are attractive or if they would taste good...

what hilarious!!!!
loved it!!
bodgei
Feb. 14th, 2006 03:29 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading it - I may have to take out the FK refrance - and i can't remember what they drove in that movie Forsaken (somethign rust collered and big)

It was un to write, and part of me wants to keep going with her, she's a funn chericter.
trystan830
Feb. 14th, 2006 03:36 pm (UTC)
yes, she sounds funny as anything.
(and i don't normally read first person, present tense, but this works. i write third person, past tens. link is on my site, on the right side, if you're interested.)
bodgei
Feb. 14th, 2006 03:42 pm (UTC)
Most people don't like to read FPT POV, but I suck at 3rd past, everythign comes out flat. I keep practising but... I don't think it's ment to happen. I'll check out your stuff (but i have to go to work in an hour so not now)
trystan830
Feb. 14th, 2006 03:58 pm (UTC)
it'll be there when you're ready. it's just "My Fan Fiction"; first link under "elsewhere" on the right side. :)
bodgei
Feb. 14th, 2006 11:45 pm (UTC)
I'll try to get to it this weekend. If I don't please remind me (I have swiss cheese for brains these days)
bodgei
Feb. 15th, 2006 01:34 am (UTC)
I read the AU one with Mary saving the day. It was so sweet! Or maybe sweet isn't he word... Look I'm a caretakeing personality. I love anythign that Sam needs to be taken care of in it (I suck)
trystan830
Feb. 15th, 2006 04:17 am (UTC)
"Hauntings" glad you liked it. don't know if i'll get more voices from that AU or not...

as for swiss cheese for brains, i call that my Swiss Cheese Memory™. i have that problem too. hee.
bodgei
Feb. 15th, 2006 12:12 pm (UTC)
Yeah I'd call it that as well - but I'm afraid of the owners of Quantim Leap... LOL
acostilow
Apr. 13th, 2006 11:49 pm (UTC)
Oh, I love it. The last two lines crack me up.

And love the Supernatural tie-in. And Rufus is awesome.

*dances off to next part*
bodgei
Apr. 13th, 2006 11:53 pm (UTC)
I'm actualy gonna go back and wrte a REAL story (with aplot and everything) involving Rufus and Gil and Elizabeth soon. But I'm not gonan post it - cause Iit may actulay be good and I may want to try to sell it at soem point.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )