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Nothing is going right today.  Nothing.  Not even things that normaly do.  I think I need to avoid people for a few days.  I got in't a heated discussion with one of my best freinds, because - basicly- both of us are so stressed out from other things we couldn't disagree with eachother like normal humans.  I don't think either of us was *really* listinging to the other.  To top it off the whole thing shouldn't really matter anyway... this is recreation (hits self on head for getting pissed off and hurt when I should have disengaged).

It's snowing cats and dogs here (can it snow cats and dogs?) we are suposed to get 15 inches today with 3 more tomorow...

I did color my hair today.  Of course the drug store was out of the color I wanted.  But it still came out OK I guess - who am I trying to impress any way? HE wont be there. 

FINALY got diferent runes on a rune cast.  Harvist, Possessions and partnership... a year would be August I guess.  Well we will see.  I will see Peter on Friday and he will make me laugh for four days!

Anyway Ro- I'm sorry.  And I do love you   




( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 23rd, 2005 02:58 am (UTC)
I know...and I'm sorry too.
I do love you too...

*grabs a tissue and bawls my eyes out alone*
Jan. 23rd, 2005 04:57 pm (UTC)
I kno wyou love me. I also know that the way we veiw the world will always cause tension between us. For me an issue can never be black and white. I can't see things that way. I Still am very angry and very hurt by yesterday. I still feel as if you are unwiling or unable to her me. I'll get over it - I always do.

I still can't beleve you compaired me to Brandon.

But honistly I should have had the sence to cut the coversation short (after all I am a Cancer I can find a way to avoid anything!)
Jan. 23rd, 2005 06:00 pm (UTC)
I don’t see the world as black and white; I never did. Nothing is that simple. It’s very gray...all manner shades of gray, varying in tone and intensity...From the flames I have received in the past and how I have responded to them, surely you’d have seen that by now.

I too feel like you weren’t listening to me and that no, you probably won’t see anything from my point of view. What upset me is I didn’t feel like you want to even try, but deep down, I know this too isn’t true. But you need to know that I really understand what it is that you are trying to accomplish there. Also know that that I now feel like I can't share my thoughts and feelings with you or anyone about anything anymore without things getting heated. Things are entirely to volatile in my life at the moment and any little thing can set me off. I do not want to debate with you on speculative matters regarding TFC anymore; I hope you know how I feel about that; it should have never happened in the first place, not on that site. Period. But since it has, I am trying to look ahead and deal with it. I wasn’t willing before (and no, I didn't change my mind recently on this)...this has mostly to do with the bullshit those kids put me through.

You’re correct in that you inherited a big problem from the admins; while I obviously do not see what goes on behind the scenes, (I think I’m pretty much up to date though) it appears to me that you’re the only one doing anything. That upsets me; it’s not supposed to be your burden to carry alone. At the same time I am filled with delight because you’ve taken it on and while it may not seem as if you’re making strides, I think you are. But hell, I’m probably wrong about that as well. I only know what I see though.

I don’t remember comparing you to Brandon; I have less respect for that troll than I do an amoeba. You however, I admire greatly. I’m trying to remember what I could have possibly said that would have made you think that...

With regard to Cristalis VS Hogwarts, I still maintain that Cristalis isn’t HP. While based on ideas from the HP fandom, it isn’t HP. It belongs to the collective minds from the board who made it up. And I’m trying like hell to remember what the fourth school is...besides these few that have a brief mention in canon:
· a school in Brazil from which Bill Weasley had a penfriend (GF
· The Salem Witches' Institute, U.S.A. (GF
· students in the US have their own school (SN)

My rant post was not directed at you at all, besides the fact that we had our disagreement. I expect to have those, actually...and I am surprised that we don’t have more...lol
The pain that I carry with me has absolutely nothing to do with you, actually; it’s been there for a few decades. I was merely venting. And yes, I know it’s ok to do that.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )