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first off a link - I thought it was interesting you may too http://whedonesque.com/comments/13271

second off... well I guess its a personal rant.  

I will be 37 in July (7/17 in fact - it's the only reason I always know Jared's birthday - it's 2 days later) 

I have no direction and no goals.  I know I have some talents but have alwasy been either to lazy to perfect them or too shy to show anyone.  There for I never know if I'm getting any better at anything.  

I had teacher after teacher and professor after professor tel me I limit myself - and I do.  Basicly becasue I'm a coward.  I never finish a story becasue if I finish it I may actuly have to do something wiht it - or at least that's why I think I don't finish anything.  

So basicly I just flote through life not knowing what I want to do.  And it's starting to drane me - not to mention that I start things and kinda like them but never want to push it to the point where I can perfect them.  

I need to start working on that.  Why?  Becasue (for once) I have a set of chericters I like.  I actuly like Jordan and Autumn and the silly little dogs they have.  Mind you I have NO idea what to do with them.. since i noramly write fantisay and they are - well not fantastic.  

Don't know what to do - but I am afraid that if I don't do it soon they will slip away.  And that would make me sad...


( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 3rd, 2007 11:14 pm (UTC)
Yeah a freind of mine just told me I having a traditional "quarter life crisses" that I should have had it 10 years ago... LOL. She told me to buy a new computor - that that would make me fell better.
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 3rd, 2007 11:29 pm (UTC)
I actuly got linked there through a Mythic Fiction site run by Terri Windling (Like my fav editor) Both Terri and my fav author Charles deLint are HUGE Buffy fans (and oddly enough Charles had a chericter in one of his YA novils that was a hugely tall, brown haired, slow talking, layed back half dork half cool guy named Jared so...anyway)

I can't imagin filming anything like that - ho wcould you not even try to help (or even if you for soem reason beleved she deserved to die - just not film it) I can't imagin being so cruel.

I have to say I'm rather in love with Jordan and Autumn - and I never really like my chericters (I don't know why but I don't) I have a good 15 pages of them and I'm not in the least bit tired of them - and they've pushed out all the other stroies I was working on like baby cookoos (or cowbirds) so now I have this wierd A/J patch work thing going on...

It's so totaly fear - and I can't decide if I'm more scared of sucess or failer...
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 4th, 2007 11:19 am (UTC)
well the stuff in the middle is still unfinished - but if you want I'll post it - then I have three after the accedent (also unfinished)

that's why I never go anywhere it's jsut imposable to make decisions for fear of sucsess and failer...
Jun. 3rd, 2007 11:08 pm (UTC)
*hugs you tight*
Jun. 3rd, 2007 11:18 pm (UTC)
my mother says it's gen X disease. That none of us were ever taught to plan anything adn so we just fell into whatever we did...

She also says that as a generation we got married later (if at all) that by the time she was doing weddings for my friends (and classmates) she was doing MORE weddings for 20 year olds...

it's my quarter life crissis... ten years too late.
Jun. 4th, 2007 12:27 am (UTC)
oh wow....

i was born in '70.... i didn't really plan stuff, if kinda just happened.... ;)
Jun. 4th, 2007 11:27 am (UTC)
but you got married befor you turned 30?

see it was a failing in the way we were brought up - and (from what I hear) we are by nature more obsessive then other generations...
Jun. 4th, 2007 01:27 pm (UTC)
yeah - i was 24 when i got married, B was still 23.
Jun. 4th, 2007 10:54 pm (UTC)
and you married yourself a Sallies boy (that is a big deal down here - all the HOT guys go to Sallies)
Jun. 5th, 2007 01:13 am (UTC)
hehehe... well, he's my Sallies boy. ;)
Jun. 5th, 2007 01:25 am (UTC)
well I never dated anyone from Sallies - I was never pritty enough - adn my parents had issues with me dating cahtlocs(I did date someone from Garnet Valley and I married a catholic)
Jun. 5th, 2007 01:30 am (UTC)
hmmm.... interesting....
Jun. 5th, 2007 01:33 am (UTC)
yeah - we all have our hang ups...
Jun. 5th, 2007 01:36 am (UTC)
well, my parents told me i could only date jewish guys....oops.
Jun. 5th, 2007 01:48 am (UTC)
yeah that worked well - they never said I Coulden't date catholics - they jsut let me know about it.. if that makes any sence
Jun. 5th, 2007 02:02 am (UTC)
erm... sorta?
Jun. 5th, 2007 02:07 am (UTC)
yeha - I'm not making sence tongihg
Jun. 5th, 2007 02:14 am (UTC)
it's all right. go to bed. ;)
Jun. 5th, 2007 02:20 am (UTC)
yeah I'm on my way... really
Jun. 5th, 2007 02:29 am (UTC)
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )