Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

here I am with a beer (well a hard cider) adn happy on my pain meds... not enoght to kill the pain, but more then I normaly take (mind you that's not saying much since my week long script lasts me 45 days on average) so I actuly feel less misrable then I have in a few days.  

Work is still insane. we have 8 hours to get everythign done.  She's gonna make me work over the weekend I can feel it. If she wants me she will have to pay.  And I mean money. 

Just blew out my right speeker listing to Pearl Jam.  Not my fav band - but I like them except (oddly enough) the song that I blew out my headphones with "Jeramey".  Something you may not know about me - I was that "harmless little fuck".  Picked on and shuved to the side.  I was the school freak.  Mind you by the end of school I was the freak queen, and was - er - popular in my own way - I suposse.  But no matter how bad things were - how angry or how much I wanted to get back at people I could never had shot anyone.  Why?  I knew guns. I knew what they woudl do to people.  And punching someone is so much more statisfiing.  

OK enough of that...

I got a letter from trystan830 

my 10 "b" things

1) boys (tall ones) 
2) bass players 
3) beds (I love to sleep) 
4) bands (don't know why I didn't list this higher) 
5) books (again too obvious or I woudl have put it higher) 
6) birthdays (other peoples not mine) 
7) bi valves (love my clams) 
8) bays adn buckskins (horses) 
9) buterflys 
10) the banks of rivers 

I have a feeling I missed something... er bad assed cars?


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 20th, 2007 11:25 am (UTC)
yeah - well I mangaed to lose the remote to my tv while talking to Trystan830 last night... sigh* I should have had more - or less...
Apr. 20th, 2007 12:32 am (UTC)
Pain? Awe...what happened...?


Totally with you on the freak but not a psycho train of thought. What that dude did was...appalling. What's worse is that the whole situation was handled wrong, both by campus security and by local cops.

Good job with the list. Heheheh, badass cars. :)

Apr. 20th, 2007 11:35 am (UTC)
I feel from my horse when I was 15 and (it turns out after 22 years of treament) broke my back. For all those years we were looking in the wrong place - I was complaining of hip/leg pain so the docs were looking at my hip leg and pelvius (all of them are breaking down now too) It turns out I broke the attachments tomy L5 and what I was complaining of is tipical of L5 injurys - except as a ounger person I didn't have foot pain - they noticed the back injury when the foot pain started.

My worry after an incedent like this is that normal freaks will be enver more picked on and hurt. I don't know how much more I could have taken - I tryed to drop out of school 3 times. I think, honistly I hurt more after columbine - I kinda understood those guys... this one? Not so much. Mind you when my dad was in security he had to pull a gun once and ended up hitting the guy with it becasue - so more statisfing. I bet you get that beign Irish and all.
Apr. 20th, 2007 05:54 pm (UTC)
Oh - OUCH! I have an old back injury myself that flairs up every so often, but woah, so sorry to hear about that. Can anything be done to fix it?

Yeah, I agree, it's going to become, if it hasn't already, a free for all for witch hunters after this. I completely understand what you went through. I was the target of mortification in my school. I was shy to begin with, withdrawn. All I ever wanted to do was blend in with the gray wall paint and not interact with anyone. I would even startle and shrink down in the seat whenever the teachers would call on me. I hated school. The bullies preyed on me day in and day out. And yeah, with my Irish temper, that sometimes resulted in a violent eruption from me. I got into more schoolyard and street corner fistfights than I'll ever care to remember. (But growing up with four older brothers, I knew how to defend myself, which usually took kids by complete surprise, heheheh.) I'm not proud of it, and I wish I had done a lot of things differently in school...but I never once even remotely had the kind of mean streak in me to commit such a heinous premeditated acts like the guys of Columbine and now at VT did, but I fear that since that precedence is now so firmly in place by those crimes, and others like them, this disturbing trend will only continue to grow. I mean, psychotic or just plain out of their gourds filled with rage, school shootings, or people otherwise going "postal" is an extremely dangerously escalating problem.

My views on gun ownership in general...well, I'm living in Texas at the moment where although Dallas does have its share of liberals, you're actually looked at a bit strangely if you're not packing, but my husband and I have always held the conservative view (the 2nd Amendment all the way, baby!) of gun control. So, my opinion tends to sway in the direction of supporting legislation to allow security guards and teachers (perhaps even students who are of adult age) to carry inside schools. That way, if a situation like the VT one occurs, someone would at least be armed and be able to put an end to the situation before it (a) gets worse, or (b) happens to begin with. (With your dad having been in the security profession, I'm sure you understand my pov). I have no doubt in my mind that armed personnel inside schools would certainly serve to mitigate or entirely prevent tragedies like these.

Apr. 20th, 2007 11:48 pm (UTC)
I'll start at the end and work my way back. My family has always had guns in the house - My father is from upstate NY and my mom shot rifle in school (she was the first woman to be asked to join the shootign team - she didn't get to becasue it was a men's team but she got asked). I was rased to defend myself. When I complained about the monster in my closet my parents gave em a knife to stab it (in the hand so it can't get away and my parents could see it was real). I've been in any number of bralws - in school and out - but i was so quite I got away with it - until high school when I started to get confadance - becasue any one who started something with me had a tendancy to avoid me after. I honitly think that knowing what wepon can do to someone is the best way to keep people from acting out killing fantisys. I think very few people know what it feels like to hold a gun (and I haven't held one witha bullit in it for a long time) and shoot. Very few people are aware of the damage wepons do.

As for it being an escilating problem - a few years ago report came out about school violence and at that point 1989 was the highest rate of school killings. It well out ranked the year of colembine - so I don't know if it's escaliating or if there are fewer shootings of higher numbers. The theiry at the time was that gen - x (not beign joiners) simply shot the people inviolved adn not the guy pestering you AND all his freinds.

Again a good punch in the nose (or punding his head into the ground) is much more staisfiing...

As for my back/hip/leg... yes adn no. They can keep it from gettign much worse - but the procedure involves a six month rehab. the suregen wanted to put it off for five (now 3.5) years I wanted to put it off for ten years... the thing is it won't ever be better then it is now. Well it will be better then it is this second - but I will never be well. I wil never be able to feel my left foot like a normal person I will always be in pain 24/7 I will never know what sex was suposed to feel like...

I under medicate myself and I become non compliant when they want me to admit I can't do something. Mind you I work in a werehouse and lift adn walk for a living. My normal dr keeps wondering how I can do that. He keeps looking at his other pain managment people and trying to campare me - but I keep telling him that at this point I don't remmeber differint, so I handle it diffwernt then his other patents...

Wow that was long.
Apr. 20th, 2007 02:02 am (UTC)
heheh awesome list. your comment in #4? mine's in random order....
Apr. 20th, 2007 11:26 am (UTC)
well i figured the more important ones woudl come to me first - I see that is mostly not true.
Apr. 20th, 2007 02:25 pm (UTC)
awww, it's all right....
Apr. 21st, 2007 12:01 am (UTC)
well nothting is comming in order these days...
Apr. 21st, 2007 01:07 am (UTC)
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )